tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61337042011-08-07T09:57:49.823-07:00Dirty Wordspersonal musings on daily madnessBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.comBlogger721100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1151974652714512722006-07-03T17:49:00.000-07:002006-07-03T17:57:32.733-07:00My aunt is staying with us this week. My uncle (her brother) and his family dropped her off before leaving for their trip to Vegas. I'm so pissed I could scream. No, not because she's here. She's my favorite aunt, and I'm glad to play hostess to her. Not because Spencer and his family went on vacation. Who doesn't need a vacation?I'm pissed because Spencer has been working out the details for my Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1151898498673101232006-07-02T20:42:00.000-07:002006-07-02T20:48:18.683-07:00The Hearing's OverThe judge ruled that I should remain the representative/executor for my dad's estate. He said that, although I made some mistakes earlier (through my former lawyer), I corrected them as soon as I found out about them. He said that I acted in good faith, and the inventory is near complete, so I should not be removed. He pushed and pushed for the lawyers to agree to an Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1150858252514146652006-06-20T19:31:00.000-07:002006-06-20T19:50:52.526-07:00I'll go one word further, as I've been Black and shopping at Target for a long time. It was the Black/Latina shopper (who could laugh at herself while finding a bargain that she could parlay into a fashion statement) who invented the term "Tar-zhay." I predicted several months ago to a friend of mine who works for Tar-zhay that this was coming, just as sure as McDonalds would accept the nickname Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1150684811429611022006-06-18T19:19:00.000-07:002006-06-18T19:40:11.443-07:00The Price of FreedomI haven't been broke in a while, and I should've expected it to happen while I'm trying the self-employment thing. It just came earlier than I expected---and I hate when that happens. I've had to spend so much on legal fees and owing money to my dad's estate that I didn't even know I owed. I'm supposed to be reimbursed for a bunch of money that I paid out last year, but it Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1150255713691849892006-06-13T20:24:00.000-07:002006-06-13T20:28:33.706-07:00Because of the bullshit my stepsisters are putting me through, I've gone from having $8,000 to having $850 in my bank account. And they think I'm trying to rip them off; meanwhile, the longer this petition is in play, the more money they lose from their own inheritances. I lose money because I need to free up time to deal with this bullshit. But I still come out ahead...monetarily. I still may Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1149840309357648562006-06-09T00:56:00.000-07:002006-06-09T01:05:09.376-07:00I don't know how much more of this I can take. Big is responsible for paying the jeweler's monthly bill, only this month he can't make the payment (because of emergency car repairs), so he asked if I could make it. Well, I've had to cut back on work to allow me to focus more on a legal matter. I can pay it, but it will be tough on my bank account this month. He hands over the bill, and I look at Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1149744963270770442006-06-07T22:20:00.000-07:002006-06-07T22:36:03.316-07:00This is the part of being coupled that I can't recommend to anyone. It is almost 1:30 a.m. He's fast asleep, and I can't sleep no matter how much pills or booze I swallow. Goddamn it, why doesn't any of this shit kill me once and for all? What's it gonna take? It scares me because I feel like there's never going to be anyone who really hears me and responds. (I love God and I think She hears me, Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1149740501730665932006-06-07T21:20:00.000-07:002006-06-07T21:21:41.740-07:00Sometimes, a girl just can't blog because the things she has to say are just too intense. How do I blog about my sisters taking me to court because they think I'm not a good executor/executrix? (And in a year's time, they never responded to help me or anything---the only time I heard from them was when they filed the petition to remove me, a petition filled with lies against me and my attorney.) Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1149570386475406322006-06-05T22:04:00.000-07:002006-06-05T22:06:26.486-07:00What's On My Mind Today(A song from the 80s that a friend of mine also remembered, and we sang it all the way home) The Politics of DancingRe-flex(Paul Fisherman)We got the messageI heard it on the airwavesThe politiciansAre now DJ'sThe broadcast was spreadingStation to stationLike an infectionAcross the nationWell you know you can't stop itWhen they start to playYou gotta get out the wayThe Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1149378013187676312006-06-03T16:38:00.000-07:002006-06-03T16:40:13.203-07:00 You scored as Drunk Cat. Put down the bottle, Cheech. Sign up for some AA classes and drink a glass of water. Bars are ok once in a while, but you shouldn't be sleeping at them.Drunk Cat83%Couch Potato Cat67%Pissed at the World Cat67%Derranged Cat58%Love Machine Cat58%Ninja Cat17%Nerd Cat0%Which Absurd Cat are you?created with QuizFarm.comBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1149291679466279372006-06-02T16:28:00.000-07:002006-06-02T16:41:19.486-07:00Ooh, I'm generic! That makes me feel so special. :PIronically, the quizmaster congratulates me for scoring as a "generic," associating with any and all races (because "basically you got my score"), yet has no problem liberally stereotyping different racial groups. As if her generation will get it right. No doubt, the young'uns just might get a better hold on the whole racial politics topic, but Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1149290824665734672006-06-02T16:25:00.000-07:002006-06-02T16:27:04.670-07:00Don't know if I'd call myself ethereal, but I would indeed prefer red wine to snake bite. And a vodka martini to red wine. You scored as Ethereal Goth. You are an ethereal goth... you favor Projekt and Dead Can Dance and have very refined tastes. You like the fine arts and probably prefer red wine to snake bite.Ethereal Goth67%Understanding Outsider63%Anything-Goes Goth58%Perky Goff50%Fantasy Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1149290577826347762006-06-02T16:22:00.000-07:002006-06-02T16:22:57.840-07:00Low-Risk District You've got to be kidding me.Washington, D.C. will get fewer anti-terror funds than Rhode Island?? Utah?? Montana?? South Dakota?? "Homeland Security officials said the District had far fewer potential targets than the larger jurisdictions, such as California, it competed against."Well, nobody told the terrorists, because they still hit DC, not California.The DHS claims that thisBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1147877439274128102006-05-17T07:43:00.000-07:002006-05-17T07:50:39.293-07:00I am SO Fall. But I prefer "Autumn." You scored as Fall. You are FALL. You appreciate all that you have, and are willing to share with others. You are a friend in the truest sense of the word, and can easily focus your attention on those who need you, placing yourself on the back burner. You make sure your responsibilites are met before you allow yourself \\\\\\\'free time\\\\\\\'.Fall90%Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1147667765833062472006-05-14T20:35:00.000-07:002006-05-14T21:36:05.850-07:00Jeez, where have I been? There is no way I'm going to load up 5 or 6 months of nonposting into one very late post.Biggest and best news: I quit my job. Major drop in income, perfectly timed with the move back to DC. Now I love being back in the city, I can walk to most places, surprisingly I can usually get a cab, but I can't afford anywhere the cab takes me. Now when I hear the Talking Heads Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1130515523901731352005-10-28T08:51:00.000-07:002005-10-28T09:17:15.766-07:00Zoloft and CavatinaSo now, I’m on Zoloft. Just started this week, and it had better start working soon. Oh, I know it’ll take a few weeks to really work. It’s just that I watched the movie The Deer Hunter last night---you know, ‘cause I’m not depressed enough---and now the main theme, "Cavatina," is in my head. It’s a haunting guitar solo performed by John Williams (the guitarist, not the Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1130279013245990412005-10-25T13:52:00.000-07:002005-10-25T15:23:33.290-07:00Scanning the blogosphere, I found this blogquiz on DMC's blog.What Religion Do You Fit In With?You fit in with:TaoismYour ideals mostly resemble those of the Taoist faith. Spirituality is the most important thing in your life. You strive to live by all of your ideals, and live a very intellectually focused life.60% spiritual.20% reason-oriented.I tried to add the graphic for that one, but I Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1129920081641192272005-10-21T11:13:00.000-07:002005-10-21T11:41:21.676-07:00From the "Accidental Lawyer"Type in “[your name] needs” into Google and list the first 10 results. Italicize the ones that apply to you.Okay, I’ll play. Nika needs a walk before the nice weather out there disappears.Nika is a beautiful, loving girl who needs someone to love her back.Nika needs attention too!Nika needs romance like a fish needs water.Nika…needs to hear---and believe---what Smelly Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1129531988753826452005-10-16T21:56:00.000-07:002005-10-16T23:53:08.806-07:00Where do I begin? What a sad, strange, scary week it has been for me. I couldn't begin to do it all justice with a summary, but I'll try. I've been exceedingly lonely lately, randomly hormonal for a few days this week, unnecessarily taxed by slacker attitudes at work, and at my wit's end in general. "Worstest" part: Putting a pistol in my mouth, contemplating whether to shoot myself or Big, Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1128525292007245712005-10-05T07:41:00.000-07:002005-10-05T08:14:52.056-07:00Virginia v. VictoriaActually, if you’re sending your 13-year-old daughter to buy a bra at Victoria’s Secret, you’ve got more to worry about than a store window display.I’m not the biggest fan of nearly nude mannequins, and frankly, I can do without looking at the taint of a bent-over doll in a lace thong, but come on---it’s an underwear store, and well, they are mannequins. Ugh, I'm torn. The Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1128463152343588522005-10-04T14:39:00.000-07:002005-10-04T14:59:12.373-07:00Ooooohh, naughty, naughty mayor-for-life! A renegade to the end. Under the circumstances---as cash strapped as DC reports itself to be---it’s too bad that Hizzoner won’t be paying any fines (I do hope that he agrees to pay anything owed for the past 7 years). Frankly, if I were a Barry supporter, I’d feel a bit betrayed right about now. The people he claims to represent are honest, hard-working, Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1128433934541827872005-10-04T06:49:00.000-07:002005-10-04T06:52:14.546-07:00These girls are my heroes! I tell you, if I were ever to have a daughter, you better believe she’s going to learn self-defense. The neighbor at the end of this story says “If the allegations prove true, who else will the family wonder about in their lives?” Well, I don’t know any parents who aren’t worried about the people their kids meet. I do hope that these parents will be able to rest a Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1128286734318585802005-10-02T13:35:00.000-07:002005-10-02T13:58:54.326-07:00So I’m walking down the street, casually hating the fact that I have to go in to work on such a nice day, when I look up at a newly renovated house and an “open house” sign in the yard. Naturally nosy, I go up to see the house, and out steps this gorgeous man.Intro’s himself as Darryl. Big shoulders, muscular under his jacket. His handshake is warm and firm. He looks me in the eye. I’m cool, calmBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1128119300846411292005-09-30T15:15:00.000-07:002005-09-30T15:28:20.853-07:00William Bennett: Not Too “Swift”Sometimes they just make it too easy…And the backpedaling begins, enough to race the Tour de France backwards. Now Bill Bennett says that the reason he brought up aborting Black babies was to show how “morally reprehensible” it would be to use abortion as a weapon in crime reduction. Sshhh, no one tell him that he was the only one in this discussion who openly Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1127790381758989792005-09-26T20:03:00.000-07:002005-09-26T20:06:21.763-07:00I'm watching this PBS show on Bob Dylan, the one directed by Scorcese. I'm in heaven. A little loopy on martinis, now that I've spent some of my freelance editing check, but it's a real treat to remember that once upon a time there were artists who allowed themselves to be possessed by sheer creativity. Big is downstairs popping popcorn for himself, now that I've left the main floor, still hungryBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1127759816792303722005-09-26T11:35:00.000-07:002005-09-26T11:36:56.796-07:00Back from VA. Big's dad is okay now. Well, as fine as an 84-year-old man w/ Parkinson's can be after a hip operation. I'll put it this way: The dad will be sleeping for most of the next 48 hours, and Big and I were up for most of the night arguing, eating, arguing, kissing, arguing, watching TV, and probably arguing in our sleep. So I guess we’re okay too. Wish I could remember what we were Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1127515914340722852005-09-23T15:19:00.000-07:002005-09-23T15:51:54.350-07:00Today is so busy that I can’t get a damned thing finished. Got up extra early to contact my district’s precinct for a copy of the report on my poor little stolen hoopty. What a runaround I’ve gotten since this happened. It’s been a month now, I’ve had two officers tell me that they would mail a copy to me and one officer who told me---a month later--- that they couldn’t do that and I’d have to Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1127246485516648622005-09-20T12:52:00.000-07:002005-09-20T13:01:25.523-07:00And now, back from a summer blogging hiatus (i.e., I didn’t feel like writing), I return feeling stronger than ever, with a fresh, positive embrace of my neuroses. This time, I will not wait to write when I feel inspired. Instead, I will reach into the head of the Muse and pull out whatever inspiration squirms within. Or dreck, whichever.Today, I choose not to form a diatribe on the racial Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1119908844883807692005-06-27T14:01:00.000-07:002005-06-27T14:47:24.923-07:00O, Ye of Little Faith"Will" saw my previous blog entry and found it necessary to respond on his own site. Unfortunately, it’s hard to comprehend fully when you’re reading with your dukes up.He responds: “Why do the atheists and agnostics always have to defend themselves[?]” To which I reply: Wah, wah, wah. My belief system has to withstand some critical thought, wah. The more grown-up answer is, Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1119731583878665032005-06-25T13:31:00.000-07:002005-06-25T13:33:03.883-07:00There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold….People believe what they need to believe. It's what separates us from the apes.She’s convinced herself that her stylish size 2 frame is irresistible to men, particularly to David (not his real name). She is also convinced that David and she would have made quite the pair, if only she had made her move on him “since it’s obvious that he’s Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1119552663751869342005-06-23T10:51:00.000-07:002005-06-23T11:51:03.783-07:00Are You There God? It's Me, Nika This article from the Slate website (first posted in 2002) is the only thing that could wake me from a sleepy lunch hour today. Interesting "Note from the Fray" at the bottom, that one cannot prove the nonexistence of something, only the existence of something. In that case, I would merely rephrase the question as "How do you know that God doesn't exist?" Author Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1119365087056689692005-06-21T07:44:00.000-07:002005-06-21T07:44:47.063-07:00Adventures in BroadbandI’m not so sure that I like broadband yet. It’s bad enough that the Comcast rep never asked about my present security set-up before pimping my machine, and no, I wasn’t there when he did it. I had to find out the hard and very inconvenient way, while trying to send my freelance work to my client. I ended up blowing through pop-ups like a starship through an asteroid field. Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1116518298605055212005-05-19T08:48:00.000-07:002005-05-19T08:58:18.610-07:00But Would You Let Your Daughter Marry One?Saw this in the Washington Post this morning. It made my day. That scurrying noise you hear is the sound of thousands of grey squirrels moving to Calvert County.And no, you can't attract black squirrels to your yard if you leave out fried chicken and watermelon.Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1115245897580158172005-05-04T14:59:00.000-07:002005-05-04T15:34:00.933-07:00Dahling, I Love You, But Give Me Penn AvenueIt's official---I'm back in the city, slowly awakening from my suburban nightmare. Really, Silver Spring isn't so bad, but in 3 years I met no one, man---I mean, no one. I had already known the friends I had. Once I moved to the suburbs, I saw them less and less frequently. I never even swam in the pool; it was always full of the neighborhood darlings Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1111174245822139492005-03-18T10:48:00.000-08:002005-03-18T11:52:42.746-08:00Three thoughts on reading about the caregiver of the future:(a) Maybe I won't be alone in my old age after all.(b) People who assume that their kids will care for them in later life are foolish.(c) I should start a long-term care plan right now. It's the only way I'll be able to pay for my caregiver, be she organic or mechanical.I think particularly of single people---yea, even single women---Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1111100820560154462005-03-17T12:27:00.000-08:002005-03-17T15:09:38.156-08:00I found The Alcohol Knowledge Test on Dave's blog. It was irresistible as a vodka-soaked olive. Stuffed w/ blue cheese, no less. BourbonCongratulations! You're 120 proof, with specific scores in beer (40), wine (83), and liquor (104). Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you're going straight for the bottle and a shot glass! It'll take more than a few shots of Wild Turkey or 99 Bananas before Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1110078815889749042005-03-05T19:06:00.000-08:002005-03-05T19:13:35.893-08:00The funeral is over, and I've got 2 days to recover before returning to the meaningless routine at work. A day alone with the phone turned off allowed me to sit still, be quiet, maybe get some sleep, and inevitably watch the past week replay in my head. Going to the hospital only to have the a pair of receptionists, male and female, tell me that my father had been "discharged." Subsequently Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1107892842740306692005-02-08T15:00:00.000-08:002005-02-08T12:00:42.740-08:00While You're Busy Making Other Plans
Big's parents are very ill, and there's no one else to take care of them, so he'll be away for a while, no one knows how long. There's no time for planning a future because the present is too overwhelming. This was the source of several arguments until one of us (namely, yours truly) actually came out and said it. Ah, there it is: reality. No prospective Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1104642627074985972005-01-01T23:57:00.000-08:002005-01-01T21:10:27.073-08:00This is the part where I'm supposed to say "Happy New Year!" Unfortunately, I'm just going to admit that I'm scared of the coming year. I'll say this instead: May we all find the strength to make it through another year without completely succumbing to insanity.
I look back at 2004, and I'm sorry that I couldn't sell my story about Flirting Time, the New York-based African American version of Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1103930105379785022004-12-24T17:34:00.000-08:002004-12-24T15:15:05.380-08:00Santa Claus Is Coming to Town...on the Metro
(or, The Gifts Will Be Late This Year)
It feels odd not having done any Christmas shopping at all. Because of Le Maladie, I've been cooped up indoors and thus (happily) unable to get out, shop, lift heavy shopping bags, and the like. All close to me have been forewarned; they will have to wait til January for the gift swap.
I can't help but think Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1103846325245557672004-12-23T15:02:00.000-08:002004-12-23T15:58:45.246-08:00The Rules of Engagement
I'm not enjoying this engagement thing as much as I had hoped. I know that Big is busy and will be until after Christmas, but I can't help thinking of two things: (a) Come January, I'll go back to work, and we'll see each other even less than we do now. (b) His schedule is hectic, but it ain't all that hectic. I've been after him to spend some "quality time" with me Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1103655368706159152004-12-21T07:15:00.000-08:002004-12-21T10:56:08.706-08:00Recapping Before the Year Gets Away From Me
The 40th birthday was a lot of fun, overall. I took the day off and bought myself a sexy new dress as my gift to myself, a gift that I could wear to dinner that night with my Mr. Big. Dinner was fantastic. We went to Ceiba in downtown DC. Mmm, feijoada and champagne.
After dinner, Big gave me his gift. It was a large picture frame holding a photo of aBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1102359749204465602004-12-06T10:39:00.000-08:002004-12-06T11:02:29.206-08:00Gadzooks, had it been that long since I've posted?!? Well, it's going to have to be a bit longer still, at least until the pain subsides. I'm on 4-6 weeks medical leave from work. Fibroid surgery, and not the oh-so-delicate kind that Condie Rice had. No outpatient stitchup for me. Nope, I got a couple of days in the hospital and the rest of December at home, waddling around like Groucho Marx. If Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1096384861860326002004-09-28T06:34:00.000-07:002004-09-28T08:21:01.860-07:00I hope my management style doesn't inspire others to do the little dance I did this morning when I found out my boss took the day off. I still can't get the silly grin off my face. Suddenly, today is my favorite day, and I welcome the challenge of facing way too much damned work. One less bureaucratic step to clear. I guarantee you that I'll get more work done today than I would if she were here.Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1095265880552788462004-09-15T09:24:00.000-07:002004-09-15T09:31:20.553-07:00What's On My Mind Today, or The Noise in Nika's Head
Don't jump just because your friends say so. People have a way of leaving you where you land.
I wrote that note to myself. I like the way it sounded.
We need to find a better way to share information at work. I'll be in meetings all week about how we can meet deadlines better. All these meetings are eating up my work time and I can't meet my Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1094528449123154202004-09-06T19:18:00.000-07:002004-09-06T20:40:49.123-07:00After two chemo treatments, Dad's doing fine; I'm the one who's a mess. (Allow me that bit of overstatement.) Actually, Dad's noticeably weaker at times. No other side effects have surfaced yet. He takes a flight of stairs like I take San Fran's Lombard Street. But the old guy's still got it. He won't let a little thing like Stage 4 lung cancer get in the way of flirting with the ladies. He has Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1091214071935673052004-07-30T11:56:00.000-07:002004-07-30T12:01:11.936-07:00Jesus, I spent a half hour trying to post and I lost the whole damn thing. I can't even think straight, and I'm not about to spend another half hour writing. According to all sources, Dad has lung cancer. And congestive heart failure. For an 82-year-old man, well, you can guess what this implies. I'm fresh out of energy and frustrated from trying to type, let alone think, enough to post. This Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1091212969044912182004-07-30T10:51:00.000-07:002004-07-30T11:56:02.926-07:00Life, or Something Like It
Have you ever in your life seen a frazzled Nika? Well, I have. Just when you think the everyday stresses of work will overwhelm you, you rally, conquer, and gloat upon the bodies of your sworn enemies.
And then God gives you one more little straw for your camel's back.
Now that I stand to lose the power of speech and imminently the power to type, I shall shorten Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1090170205163718722004-07-18T07:52:00.000-07:002004-07-18T10:03:25.163-07:00
I've been having the strangest dreams lately. Last week I dreamed that I was driving behind Big, who was in a van that suddenly pulled over and burst into flames. He got out, though.
This morning, I dreamed that my closet caught fire, but people kept telling me that nothing was wrong. I could smell smoke, and I saw flames in the back of the closet, but nothing had been destroyed. I was Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1089915891798631392004-07-15T11:14:00.000-07:002004-07-15T11:24:51.796-07:00This morning, I heard a radio personality bash Bush with a story of a recent speech supposedly given by the President. Summary: Bush said that he has always been a religious man and that his favorite Bible quote was John 16:3.
The assumption that follows: Certainly he meant John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosover believeth in Him should not perishBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1089841449455934902004-07-14T14:18:00.000-07:002004-07-14T14:44:09.456-07:00Did you know that until 1819, women in Hawaii were not allowed to eat bananas, coconuts, pork, turtle, and several types of fish? Why? Because of the Hawaiian culture's system of kapu (translated as "law" by some, "taboo" by others).
My theory is that it was an attempt to discourage dirty jokes about eating bananas, coconuts, turtle....Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1089742316781596892004-07-13T11:11:00.000-07:002004-07-13T11:11:56.780-07:00I have just seen a former colleague's byline in the Post's Style section. She had been covering music stories in smaller publications---I had seen her articles in the City Paper for years---I worked with her a gazillion years ago. We were both copy editors for a microbiology publisher. She fared pretty well. I was almost fired, I was so bad. We weren't the best of friends by any means, but we hadBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1089484377782808482004-07-10T09:55:00.000-07:002004-07-10T11:32:57.783-07:00Diva Lite
If you'll pay a 23-year-old $5 to sit in a rec room and paste up diva collages to remind you of what a diva is, you're never going to be a diva.
Someone's got the bright idea to charge people for a diva-training workshop, and the Post has an article about her. (Diva-training workshop? Jeez, and I still can't a decent blue cheese-stuffed olive in this town. Where are our priorities?)
Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1088799761009807152004-07-02T13:17:00.000-07:002004-07-02T13:22:41.010-07:00Shrill Bill, Vol. 2
Okay, Bill comes off as a loopy old man in his approach, but his message shouldn't be lost. In short, Black people are no different from any other humans in needing to take responsibility for our lives. With freedom and choice come responsibility. What surprises me (and yet perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised) is the wave of shock and awe from the Black community, as if Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1088392964212701462004-06-27T20:22:00.000-07:002004-06-27T20:22:44.213-07:00As of today, I'm now up to a seven-martini limit. Problem is, after seven, I've already lost my buzz and that makes me want more. For a woman who's 5'1", that's not a good thing. I imagine, for a man who's 6'1", that's not such a good thing either. That's just me doing my version of cutting myself or throwing up: Tomorrow I'll have a wicked hangover, but it'll help me forget the previous pain I Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1084645317782332132004-05-15T11:19:00.000-07:002004-05-15T11:21:57.783-07:00Nika's Cicada Watch (or Hey, There's a Dead Cicada on My Balcony)
Hey, there's a dead cicada on my balcony.
I, however, am more concerned with the pollen and fluff wafting through the air. (ah-choo) But back to the cicada...
It waited 17 years to come out looking for hot cicada sex only to die alone. I can relate. It died on its back, with its legs up in the air. Again, I can relate. It occursBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1083735104844644462004-05-04T22:31:00.000-07:002004-05-04T22:36:09.403-07:00Speaking of losing her mind....
My advice to you is this:
Everyone knows not to piss off the gangsta-looking guy in the tricked-up car, 'cause you never know if he's got a gun and ain't afraid to use it. But after even my own therapist says that it's not good for me to be alone in a room with certain people because I might lose control on them----and certainly after my short-lived adventure Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1081291963817859812004-04-06T15:52:00.000-07:002004-04-06T15:56:30.030-07:00If you happened to be in a Maryland Safeway last night, and you saw a woman losing her mind...
I hate to say it but it's probably me. Long story short, I went in for toilet paper, lemonade, and some vegetables for dinner. Fewer than 10 items, clearly. Only, there's one express aisle open, and it's got a minimum of 10 people in line. Had I gone to that line, I'd have brought the line to 11 peopleBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1081122902022983892004-04-04T16:55:00.000-07:002004-04-04T16:58:45.513-07:00I'm waiting for the pills to kick in. Tylenol PM. Good for what ails you.
I can't tell if I'm in a depression at the moment because it doesn't feel like depression used to feel. I can get up in the morning, and I go to a job that I hate, work a full day, and come home. I haven't been eating, but come to think of it, I don't eat anyway. Usually I don't eat breakfast and dinner comes too late, so Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1078595195179793402004-03-06T09:46:00.000-08:002004-03-16T09:43:37.403-08:00My beloved Charlie died recently. He was my kitty companion for 10 years, longer than I've known most of the people in my life. Charlie taught me some of life's most important lessons. Okay, well, some of them I already knew, but life with him was confirmation of them.
In celebration of the life and teachings of Charlie (who, were he here, would be trying to walk across the keyboard), I presentBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1077480608929597052004-02-22T12:10:00.000-08:002004-02-22T12:18:27.263-08:00 I'm excited about tonight's Sex and the City finale. Bought a fabulous new purse for the occasion, then went out and stocked up on ramen noodles and vienna sausages. (Just kidding---I won't be eating at all this month.) I was thrown by last week's episode, which for me was the HBO version of ripping the scar off a wound. See, in real life, sometimes Big doesn't come back. I can't help but give Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1076079114654657182004-02-06T06:51:00.000-08:002004-02-06T06:58:32.263-08:00A friend of mine recently took an online quiz offered by an online dating service and showed me the results. It made me think of two reasons why such quizzes never worked for me.
Reason #1 why dating quizzes don't work for me: If these quizzes are so accurate, they ought to be able to calculate and report when a person's an asshole, and they should have no compunction in telling a client just Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1075937775494446382004-02-04T15:36:00.000-08:002004-02-04T15:38:35.966-08:00Lay Off, Princess, This Isn't About You
A recent magazine highlights a famous actress/writer's interview of Jude Law. It includes a few basics about him that I could have found out in an IMDb search of his bio. However, I now know far more about the interviewer than I ever wanted to know: how she's trying not to look to eager, how she's such a complicated person and, thus, is in a prime positionBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1074995105824481952004-01-24T17:45:00.000-08:002004-01-24T17:47:11.360-08:00Getting a (Poli-)Grip
Got that ol' mild yet familiar panic last night. For the first Friday in a long time, I was alone. Not out with friends, not on a date, not at home with Big. Just me and the cat with the freshly scrubbed teeth. It used to be so much easier to leave work, take cat home from vet, feed cat, check messages, then shower, change, and hit the ground running. I could do all that inBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1074971226679895602004-01-24T11:07:00.000-08:002004-01-24T11:17:23.293-08:00Yes, I Do Have Something Better to Do...but This Is About Movies!
I checked out Interrobang, home of my old pal Dave (a.k.a., "the Tripod"). This is where I found my latest blog diversion: The top 100 movies on IMDb. Lord knows who actually voted and how many times, but this is just good clean fun, right? Actually, IMDb lists 250 films, not to mention a list of "bottom" movies to accompany it. Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1074138206940513282004-01-14T19:43:00.000-08:002004-01-14T19:45:18.746-08:00Look at Me, I'm a Classic Movie!
What Classic Movie Are You?
I admit it; that sounds like me. Ms. Scary and Difficult. If love and turmoil go hand in hand, sign me up. I'll stay up all night, with or without you, ecstatic or miserable. And whether you've showered me with roses and poetry or disappeared without a word, I'll make you pay. What scares me is how accurately I picked up on the part Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1073772441667863532004-01-10T14:07:00.000-08:002004-01-10T14:08:29.923-08:00Resilience vs. Immunity
I've been thinking lately about the search for immunity in relationships. Looking for someone to guarantee that he will never hurt you or leave you or otherwise cause you any pain. Looking for the sure thing, the "One" whom you'll never regret meeting. When Mr. Big couldn't give me that assurance, I freaked out, acted out, and he withdrew. The more I acted out, the more Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1072325312245209472003-12-24T20:08:00.000-08:002003-12-24T20:08:48.446-08:00This is the one seriously depressing damned day. I can honestly say that this year I hate Christmas Eve, I hate Christmas, and I hate the day after Christmas, and what's more, the day I hate even more than these is New Year's Eve. Maybe I'll be in a better mood come the 26th. One can hope.Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1071684363356210712003-12-17T10:06:00.000-08:002003-12-18T14:40:57.960-08:00Sometimes death is the best thing that can happen to people. How many years have the Thurmonds been twitching in their sleep, having nightmares named Essie Mae? Oddly enough, I'm not the least bit surprised at the news. Not just because of the historical figures who have been discovered with something more than skeletons in their closets. As a Black woman, I have the unique perspective of seeing Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1070132044837487242003-11-29T10:54:00.000-08:002003-11-29T10:54:13.800-08:00The trouble with being a Black fan of rock music is twofold: At the concerts, there's always some group of White people staring at you as if you don't belong there. And then there are those moments when people forget that you are there.
In today's Washington Post, there's an article about the launch of Tracks, a new rock music magazine geared toward an "older and wiser" audience. The Post Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1070066080795936812003-11-28T16:34:00.000-08:002003-11-28T16:34:49.973-08:00I met a young man on my way to work last Monday. We simply exchanged "hellos" as we walked in opposite directions. Nice looking fellow, and at the time, I really did need that smiling hello. But as I bought a metro farecard, I heard an "excuse me" from over my shoulder---he had followed me down to the farecard machine. We danced the usual "you're interesting, what's your number?" dance. Being Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133704.post-1069869230001019342003-11-26T09:53:00.000-08:002003-11-26T10:33:15.043-08:00The words are back, and man, are they dirty.
But now that we're together, what do I say? There must be more to post than holiday angst, sociopolitical ramblings, work-related woes, and tales of general disillusionment in the diary of a mad spinster.
There are, but I'm posting the other crap too.
Don't worry, I promise I'll practice safe blogging. I'm wearing condoms on my fingers as I type Bellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14850628979634915218noreply@blogger.com0