Sunday, May 14, 2006
Jeez, where have I been? There is no way I'm going to load up 5 or 6 months of nonposting into one very late post.
Biggest and best news: I quit my job. Major drop in income, perfectly timed with the move back to DC. Now I love being back in the city, I can walk to most places, surprisingly I can usually get a cab, but I can't afford anywhere the cab takes me. Now when I hear the Talking Heads song, "Road to Nowhere," I know where they went. Maybe they're all freelance editors too.
Still, that road was one worth taking. I thought things would get lively after my immediate boss was shown the door after almost 20 years of working way too damn much. But then my good friend and fellow manager, Kathy, was told that "she gave a lot to the department, but maybe she doesn't fit in anymore." By November, she had handed in her resignation.
And then, when they came for me....
I know that America doesn't really value originality, but did I have to get the same speech that Kathy got? By the time they got to me, I had already seen the signs. For every "desaparecido," there was a quick and all-too-convenient replacement, who just happened to come from our new boss's former organization. Ah, the plot thickens. My confrontation and asking "what the hell can I do to save my job?" was a lost cause, well before I asked it. In any case, I asked, I found out, and I learned a lesson. A big one. It really doesn't matter how long you've been at a job, how well you've done the job, or how many people recognize it, if the organization decides that a new direction is needed, along with new management, no consultation, no explanation, and no apology are needed. In my case, it had already been decided: We managers would not be replaced. The management would be completely revamped. I still think that they could have leveled with us; that would have given us more time to prepare for impending unemployment. I mean, not one of us had been there fewer than 10 years. That job was an investment; for some of us, a substitute for a real life. To lose it suddenly to a new director who hadn't been there for 2 years was a supreme insult.
The universe has a wicked sense of humor. To an ex-boss, it's just as easy to say "Thank you" as it is to say "Fuck you." I decided that the time was perfect to leave; I left the life of a manager in January, went to San Francisco for a few days, and took up the life of a freelance copyeditor---which has turned out to be just as busy as the life of an editorial manager, only with fewer meetings and evaluations to write (read: NO meetings and NO evaluations). Hallelujah! After 13 years of dedicated service, I was urged out on my ass. I was free.
Last week, they fired the last manager from the old regime, 2 years before she could retire.
Meanwhile, there's the work. With all that rearranging, who's minding the store? Who's editing all those late manuscripts in a desperate attempt to try to get the department back on schedule? The in-house editors can do only so much on an 8-hour schedule. There are so many late manuscripts. Who can they get to help them get back on track? Where's a freelancer when they need one???
Ahem.
Now, I wake up at 9:30 or so and have a quick breakfast. Yogurt, usually. Maybe some orange juice. Then I turn on something mundane on TV for background noise. The Weather Channel, something like that. Now that it's springtime, I throw open the windows on a nice day and I get to work. Sometimes I work on my laptop at any given coffeeshop or bookstore. In the afternoons lately, I like to sit at my window and watch the white blossoms blow horizontally through the air.
Did I mention the part about not having to go to meetings? Hallelujah, indeed!
Yes, I have less money, but you'll never convince me that I made the wrong decision. Never.
Will I make a success of this new business venture? Who knows? Who knew that, after 13 years, I'd be gone through no fault of my own---and so would my manager colleagues? Nothing is guaranteed, you see. Nothing. It's better to find that out as soon as possible. But if nothing is guaranteed, then nothing is impossible. It's better to find that out ASAP too.
Biggest and best news: I quit my job. Major drop in income, perfectly timed with the move back to DC. Now I love being back in the city, I can walk to most places, surprisingly I can usually get a cab, but I can't afford anywhere the cab takes me. Now when I hear the Talking Heads song, "Road to Nowhere," I know where they went. Maybe they're all freelance editors too.
Still, that road was one worth taking. I thought things would get lively after my immediate boss was shown the door after almost 20 years of working way too damn much. But then my good friend and fellow manager, Kathy, was told that "she gave a lot to the department, but maybe she doesn't fit in anymore." By November, she had handed in her resignation.
And then, when they came for me....
I know that America doesn't really value originality, but did I have to get the same speech that Kathy got? By the time they got to me, I had already seen the signs. For every "desaparecido," there was a quick and all-too-convenient replacement, who just happened to come from our new boss's former organization. Ah, the plot thickens. My confrontation and asking "what the hell can I do to save my job?" was a lost cause, well before I asked it. In any case, I asked, I found out, and I learned a lesson. A big one. It really doesn't matter how long you've been at a job, how well you've done the job, or how many people recognize it, if the organization decides that a new direction is needed, along with new management, no consultation, no explanation, and no apology are needed. In my case, it had already been decided: We managers would not be replaced. The management would be completely revamped. I still think that they could have leveled with us; that would have given us more time to prepare for impending unemployment. I mean, not one of us had been there fewer than 10 years. That job was an investment; for some of us, a substitute for a real life. To lose it suddenly to a new director who hadn't been there for 2 years was a supreme insult.
The universe has a wicked sense of humor. To an ex-boss, it's just as easy to say "Thank you" as it is to say "Fuck you." I decided that the time was perfect to leave; I left the life of a manager in January, went to San Francisco for a few days, and took up the life of a freelance copyeditor---which has turned out to be just as busy as the life of an editorial manager, only with fewer meetings and evaluations to write (read: NO meetings and NO evaluations). Hallelujah! After 13 years of dedicated service, I was urged out on my ass. I was free.
Last week, they fired the last manager from the old regime, 2 years before she could retire.
Meanwhile, there's the work. With all that rearranging, who's minding the store? Who's editing all those late manuscripts in a desperate attempt to try to get the department back on schedule? The in-house editors can do only so much on an 8-hour schedule. There are so many late manuscripts. Who can they get to help them get back on track? Where's a freelancer when they need one???
Ahem.
Now, I wake up at 9:30 or so and have a quick breakfast. Yogurt, usually. Maybe some orange juice. Then I turn on something mundane on TV for background noise. The Weather Channel, something like that. Now that it's springtime, I throw open the windows on a nice day and I get to work. Sometimes I work on my laptop at any given coffeeshop or bookstore. In the afternoons lately, I like to sit at my window and watch the white blossoms blow horizontally through the air.
Did I mention the part about not having to go to meetings? Hallelujah, indeed!
Yes, I have less money, but you'll never convince me that I made the wrong decision. Never.
Will I make a success of this new business venture? Who knows? Who knew that, after 13 years, I'd be gone through no fault of my own---and so would my manager colleagues? Nothing is guaranteed, you see. Nothing. It's better to find that out as soon as possible. But if nothing is guaranteed, then nothing is impossible. It's better to find that out ASAP too.
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